after navy and Nancy
After I left the navy I went to see a friend in Oregon before coming back to Michigan. I remember looking up at the bottom branches of pine trees which were a good 30 feet above me. I went back to Michigan for a short time and then went out to Los Angeles for a bit and then went north to Frisco and became a flower child. I became a street begger and asked strangers for dimes etc. I only did this for a short time and I did it because I had met a homeless man begging for money and I was hungry , he showed me where to get food if i was willing to get the salvation message at a church , he then showed me his apartment and his new lincoln town car that he had paid cash for, this man had a box of dirt which he put on every morning along with smelly clothes and went to "work" for about 3 hours a day , he looked so pathetic that people would just throw money at him. I saw him 20 years later in Atlanta Ga. he still looked pathetic but now it was for real and this was sad . I played that game for a week or two but it was not an honorable thing to do so I went back to Michigan because I missed the snow. After an extended party period. I went to work at an electrical products factory. I made transformers and battery chargers. this company manufactored an electric car . it was a small car ( which is now normal), the car ran by attaching motors and generators on each wheel , the trunk was full of batteries. this car drove to Washington D.C. and had to be plugged in overnight to drive home. This car had very good bearings and it was something like 85% efficient. I am not totally certain but it is my belief that congress said that Dresser electric Co. could not produce that car because it would destroy the oil industry. I was only a worker and the political details were for the management. this company also built a machine that electro painted metal with a low voltage like 14 volts and high ampherage in the order of 1k amp, this process forced the paint through the metal with a force that the paint was through the metal to a point that it was not possible to rust. no auto company bought that technology because it would stop planned obsolescence and reduce sales. at this time I also went to R.E.T.S. electronic school in Detroit near the old packard plant on grand blvd. It is sad that in the late 60's we could have started converting to electric vehicles and by now when batteries are no longer just lead acid we could have a workable system in place. There was some good logic to the thought that we had an infrastructure in place for fossil fuel vehicles and batteries were dangerous because of the acid but in retrospect it was a mistake to not pursue electric cars at that time. Now there is research into carbon nano tubes for not only production of electricity but also storage. combining several technologies there is no reason that we should hold back on converting our vehicles to electric.

I then went to work in computers . I was an operator and ran the machines using dials and switches it was not a system that had a screen and typewriter like the laptop that I am typing on now. the machines were huge and complex . the room that the machines were in was air conditioned and sanitary. I started in an I.B.M. 1401 and advanced to the I.B.M. 360-50. I then went to work at a large medical insurance company and learned to run honeywell 4200 on up.
about this time I began to drink and smoke pot and experimented with every drug possible, I bought a motorcycle and went a bit wild for a time . I met Nancy when I had an accident with my motorcycle. Nancy worked at the hospital that I went to , she gave great back rubs .we latched onto each other and became friends and lovers and were married on Dec. 11, 1970. We partied a lot and did many many drugs. Our first baby came Oct. 2 ,1971.I was still working on computers at this time and I was experimenting with doing more than one thing at a time on the computers . up to this time only one program could run at a time I wound up doing 16 hours of work in 4 hours by using the core of the computer to calculate while the printer printed and the reel to reel tapes sorted data out. to get a list of data in a logical order took many hours , it took hours to input data and todays mobil telephones have more computing power than the largest machine in the 70's and to obtain a list of data in a logical order,which took 8 hours in 1970 now takes 1 second.
 I gave up computers and moved to Gladwin county to be with nature . this was the dumbest thing that I have ever done and the end result was disasterous . we went from a great income to almost no income We had two more Children and we were poor. We both went to college in Harrison Mi. at mid Michigan comunity college and life was looking up. I found out that learning was the best drug ever . I learned physics , electronics calculus ,and most of all I learned to love to learn.
 We rented a house on a little river in northern Gladwin county , the house was full of garbage and rats, I spent a week sitting up all night and shooting rats till they were all gone , I dug a hole that was 20 ft. x 20 ft. and 6 ft deep and we filled it full of all the Garbage that was in and around the house, we burnt that pile and filled the pit up and burnt the second load of garbage. we had cleaned up that deserted farm and made it livable. I had a money problem because of some more stupity . I was going to college through the G.I. bill and wound up being unemployed and for the first and last time I collected unemployment benifits , when I was asked by the unemployment department if I was actively looking for work ,I said that since I was going to school and was working hard to get ahead that I was not looking for work , I could have lied and saved a lot of grief, I could not collect benifits until a ruling was made, It was determined that going to school was not a reason for not looking for work, I had tried to define student as a valid search for future work which would allow collecting unemployment insurance while going to school, it was a nice try but did not work we had little money. I repaired telivisions in the back room for money. We got behind in our rent and when the g.i bill came through and we had money I paid back the past rent and gave two more months rent in advance for the next two months . the landlord took the money and proceeded to evict us even though we paid ahead , he never gave us a receipt for the rent paid and just stole that money. the sheriff came just after Christmas and put us out in the snow complete with our 2 month old son. we had a hard time for a couple of weeks but we survived. I went to Michigan state and took tests and was offered a full scholorship with paid tuition ,housing, books, and possibly work as long as i went into nucular physics. at the same time I had an offer from a chemical lab to work with a reasonable income. I chose the education and I had also stopped doing drugs and studied instead of partying. Nancy was tired of poverty , when she met me I made really good money. I had failed my family and we had become homeless Nancy had enough of my radical thinking,was tired of living with nature and she chose to leave me and went to a man that had a good income and liked to party and I was broke and boring, lost in the Quantum world and nature. that life ended abruptly and the worst time of my life began. I had lost my family. My I.Q is near 150 and I make some very stupid decisions, Machines I can handle , life is a bit more difficult. after Nancy left I made even dumber decisions.
I commited suicide within an hour of Nancy leaving by shooting myself. I went into a rage and shot holes in most of the televisions that I had collected to repair and sell and then turned the gun on myself. I died in the ambulance, I heard the medic radio in and say "we lost him" then I heard a voice soft and gentle say "It is all right , you are not alone" I did not believe in God at that time and I remember thinking that it is wonderful that your mind comforts you at the moment of death. The next words I heard were "pump him" and I came back to life. after much surgery I was released from the hospital and returned home. I had a bus that was a camper that I traded for a 1965 Plymouth Fury , a big car, I then acquired a job in Harrison Mi. in a t.v. shop I worked there for a few months untill I was on my way to work one day and after cresting a hill there was a car in my lane, the man was a city person looking at deer in the field , Iknew that I could not stop so I went onto my shoulder of the road to get around him , unfortunatly He went to the same shoulder so I had a head on collision on the right shoulder at 55 mph., I watched the engine of that big car come through the firewall and land next to me. Time slowed down and as I watched that motor come towards me , I had plenty of time to move over , I do not remember when my stomach bent the steering wheel up and then bending the shaft of 3/4 inch steel , up and I believe that is when my back became broken,I spent a few days in the hospital and while I was in there the t.v. shop that I worked at burnt down along with all of my equiptmet for repairing electronics , after leaving the hospital I went home but my landlord did not want me there anymore none of my "friends" would even talk to me, I had no car ,no house, no money, no tools, no Children, no wife, and I became homeless in Michigan in the winter, I went about 3 weeks with no food living outside in the snow just wanting to die. I saw a single blade of grass peeking out from the snow in it's own survival attempt. Seeing the life in that single blade of grass changed my attitude and I made a decision to live. I found a job taking care of some horses and pigs for a family that came to Gladwin every few weeks.The owner knew someone who owned a bakery and he would bring big bags of stale donuts to feed to the pigs I was able to eat some eggs and some stale donuts. I then later found a job fixing electronic things which included arcade equiptment as well as home entertainment devices. I went back to school the next fall and spent a year in a psyciatric nursing program mainly to understand me and life and death.
And life went forward.
It was from this period back that memory is faded and childhood is gone.
As a teen seeing people blown up
5 years of heavy drug use mainly psycadelics and pot
Dying of a self inflicted cunshot
almost dying in an accident
almost dying of hunger and cold
All of these are reasons for amnesia , as the song says "what is too painful to remember we simply choose to forget".
Nancy moved in with her brother in a detroit suburb about 150 miles from Gladwin so I followed so that I would have a chance to see my children.
Nancy would not let me see my children in Gladwin, I even went to court and the judge said that I could see my children so my dad went with me to pick them up and as I approached the door a sherriff car pulled up and I was arrested for trespassing and my dad was arrested for just being there.
I had to go to court for the trespassing charge and the same judge told me that I could see my children but I can not trespass to do so and also that all visits had to be pre arranged. I did see Jennifer twice in Gladwin
I did not see my children for several years but the day came when Nancy needed extra money and I was invited to see my children, it cost but It was worth it.
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